I feel about milestones the way I feel about holidays: keep them coming. As a child, I literally lived for milestones. Start elementary school. Start Jr. High. Start puberty. Start High School. Start driving. Start voting. Start college. Start buying smokes and booze (optional). Start life.
There we so many wonderful and exhilarating stages leading up to adulthood, then poof! They disappeared. By age 25, I’d reached full height, able to see farther than ever before. The only milestone down the horizon, far away and alone, was retirement at age 65.
All that empty real estate just asking to be filled with milestones. Face it—we can all use more of that excitement that comes from looking forward to something. I say we fill in the years with big days . . . preferably the ones I’m proposing. Trust me. You’re in for a real treat.
Age 30—Blame Away
Up to age 30, we are allowed to blame our parents for EVERYTHING. They’re expecting it, so get it all out. Because when we turn 30, we take all that blame and shift it to ourselves. Is it our fault? Absolutely not. Parents can be awful, and they may not deserve our forgiveness. But at this point, blaming them is a lost cause, and it’s time to focus on ourselves. Do you feel the pressure? No more wasting our energy on our parents. Instead, we harness that energy and learn to fix ourselves. For this milestone, I can definitely see people going overboard on the decorations.
Age 40—Pick One
If we haven’t figured out our passion by age 40, guess what? Our passion is not having a passion. That’s the rule. If we all accept the wisdom behind this milestone, then no one is going to pressure us if we don’t have a passion, and we don’t need to feel pressured to pursue one. Not having a passion will be completely acceptable. It means we’re free to do anything we want as best as we can. Free at last.
Age 55—Stick a Fork in It
Like the name suggests, we’re done. That is, time is up for re-inventing ourselves. No starting risky businesses or accumulating massive debt to get our law degrees. No more longshots. At 55, you get to build on and sharpen what you already know. Take whatever tools you’ve developed up to this point and throw them all at whatever you happen to be doing. Had you been raised with this milestone hanging over your head, you would have started astronaut training at age 25 instead of pining for it at 60.
Age 70—Set in Stone
This is my favorite milestone. Finally we get to be accepted for what we are without any pressure to change. No demands to run faster or learn more or try harder. We are off the hook. We get to decline graciously, harassment free. We’re old—face it. The rest of the world has.
Age 80—Shhhhhhh
If we’re lucky enough to reach this age, we will do so cooperating with everyone. Being 80 and insisting on living like a 25-year-old is obnoxious. Forget 25—insisting on living like a 60-year-old is obnoxious. Time to stop making demands. Time to make it easy for people to help us. Time to stay home and let the younger people enjoy themselves without us. Be selfless and accommodating. Chances are good that the help you need is coming from the same people who wouldn’t forgive you when they were 30.
Into the Comfort Zone 