While I Was Napping

The overachievers are recruiting again. I recognized their latest recruitment effort in an article about maximizing rest. The term they introduced was Sit Spot. This new slogan is definitely the work of an overachiever. The expression is catchy and full of promise, like all of their slogans. You’re meant to believe that happiness comes from packing lots of accomplishments into each day. If you employ a Sit Spot into your routine, versus a chair, all of your dreams will come true. A Sit Spot, if you can believe the hype, super-charges your rest period. You will then have the energy to conquer the world. Go ahead. Try it out. Find an oasis where you can sit undisturbed, someplace already furnished with a rock-hewn bench and inviting to a Druid priest—an easy assignment for any overachiever. Next, actively sit—very important. And finally, stand up and get busy—you have no excuse!

If I’m not mistaken, Power Nap was the warm-up to Sit Spot. Before Power Nap, overachievers would say to a person in deep slumber, “Are you asleep?” A valid question to overachievers who were just making sure that you are still alive. Because in their book, people should only sleep when their dead. But their question was bad for recruitment, considering how annoying it is. So overachievers started pushing Power Naps. It’s their way of getting you to subliminally say “am I asleep?” two minutes after you close your eyelids. You’ll wake up every time.

I have to admire overachievers. Their messages are very tempting. I nearly fell for one of their most successful campaigns. You know the one I mean–Get Out of the Comfort Zone? I feel silly now. To think that I voluntarily spurned developing my best traits, that I rejected doing the things I love, so that I could feel lost and miserable in a less enjoyable activity. But those overachievers are smart. Had they said “get out of your comfort food,” I would have called them crazy!

When you’re dealing with overachievers, you have to be on your toes. Overachievers are pretty sneaky. They recruited a lot of people with their very misleading Multitasking slogan. They actually tried to convince people that you can do two things at once very well. Did I say two things? I meant to say three things. No, scratch that. I meant four things—yes, you can simultaneously do four things and do them exceptionally well. I have a theory how multitasking got started—an impatient overachiever got tired of hearing her mother say, “I only have two hands.” Voilà—a re-education program was born. (The newer generations may not be familiar with the two-hands phrase—long ago, mothers were very proud to be single-taskers, and they proclaimed it to their children all the time. Today it’s illegal to call yourself a single-tasker—the authorities will eyeroll you to death.)

As the name suggests, Multitasking has a companion slogan. It’s called Quality Time. As you transition from one set of tasks to another, there are miniscule breaks, and they should not be wasted.  Overachievers have reserved these precious mini-breaks for family and friends—you know, people—and they are best filled with a super-quick yet effective blast of love—you know, something they can cherish. Well, I’m here to say that the overachievers have this one all wrong, and I just proved it. You’ve been experiencing quality time the whole time you’ve been leisurely reading this blog post.